Holy Fuck, I’m Not Old Enough For This!

Cody turned 12 yesterday.

I’m not old enough to be the mother of an almost but not quite teenager.

Yesterday, Evan had his first baseball practice. When I dropped him off, another kid asked me something about Cody. I had to look at this kid twice- because the last time that I had talked to him, he had a little kid voice. Not anymore- his voice is deepening, and I realized that, at some point, Cody’s voice had also gone through this gradual change. Not quite a man’s voice, but not quite a little boy’s voice, either.

Cody is almost as tall as I am now. I can remember not being tall enough to see in the bathroom mirror without standing on the bathtub when I was Cody’s age. Cody has been able to see in the mirror for awhile now (same mirror). He wears a bigger shoe size than his father now, and can get away with wearing Mike’s clothes (they’re only a little big on him).

He asked for new shoes for his birthday. Gone is the boy who would play with toys- now his toys are baseballs, bikes (he’s up to seven), and video games.

He still plays baseball. Still claims to be a White Sox fan (but we all know better).


Hell Week

For the last three weeks (I think. January is nothing but a blur of ‘work, cleaning, work, cub scouts, work, work, work’), I have tried to stick to a three day a week schedule. To do that, I decided to write posts ahead of time. It was past me, talking to future audience. It was almost like time travel!

And it worked out great. I would write 3-4 posts on the weekends or days off, depending on when those days were. I’d schedule the post for whatever future date I was aiming for, and then grin when I hit that little ‘schedule’ button, because I had a blog post completed and I was happy. One less thing to worry about, and I felt like I was being productive.

And then… Hell Week.

I have them every couple of months of so. It’s the week when the house is a disaster and it absolutely needs cleaned because you are positive that it’s starting to smell funky, the week when you’re working four 9-hour shifts in a row, with no break, oh- and you’re a freaking cashier the entire time (I love my job, I love my job, I love my job), two boys have den meetings, as well as separate den field trips on the same day, at the same time, and oh, by the way, mom and dad are both working so it’s up to Gramma to get them there on time, the third child has boy scouts and all three kids have school and a ton of homework and on top of all that crap going on- you just don’t feel like doing jack shit.

Yeah.

I’m in the middle of Hell Week right now.

Not to mention, I’m reading a webcomic’s archives straight through because I am just dorky enough to do that (btw- I want a Choo Choo Bear plushie. Bonus points if you know who Choo Choo is).

Oh. And Castleville. I’m playing a lot of Castleville right now.

But that’s not that point. The point is- life is super duper busy right now, and I’m just barely keeping my head above water. Writing and posting posts for today and Friday? Yeah, wasn’t going to happen.

Ok, so Friday’s post probably won’t happen, since I’m posting today.

I’m hoping that my house will sparkle on Friday, because I work early on Saturday (love my job, love my job, love my job), and then I’m off Sunday which hopefully means writing some bloggy goodness. And if it doesn’t? There’s always Tuesday, since Hell Week will be long over by then.

At least… until baseball season starts.

Lord help me.


Blowing Sunshine And Rainbows Up Asses

I started blogging for myself (ok, so I still blog for myself, since I’m starting to think that anyone that reads my blog are all figments of my imagination). I have journaled in the past, usually when I need to get something out and on paper. Blogging doesn’t quite fill the same niche.

I find myself wanting to post funny shit my kids say and/or do, bragging about those moments when they make me proud, discussing my procrastination tendencies, or bragging about my crafty ideas. And, of course, avoiding anything that makes me look less than perfect.

I didn’t do that with my journals.

Which tells me that I’m blowing sunshine and rainbows up my own ass by saying ‘I blog for myself.’ If I really blogged for myself, there would be many more posts of ‘what the fuck did my mom feed my kids to cause them to bounce that high off the walls’ and ‘how on earth did I give birth to someone so clueless?’

Side note- it wouldn’t have taken me as long to reach 100 posts if I had not avoided the Ugly Times.

I know that I posted about bloggers addressing the not-so-sunny sides of their personalities before, and applauding them.

I don’t want to blow sunshine up anyone’s ass, let alone my own.

Right now, I’m dealing with… something with my nine year old son. This kid- he is amazing. He’s unique (fedoras are his favorite hats, he is the only nine year old I know who can rock a tuxedo tee shirt, he asked for a piano three years straight and now owns TWO (an electric one and an honest to goodness omg I can’t believe it was free piano), and he’s so excited to be learning to play the baritone in school, he loves to read, he and I have a plan to go to Europe JUST to see the Harry Potter sets, and he absolutely loves Domo), and he may be depressed. We know that something is wrong. We just don’t know what it is yet.

You see, every so often, he goes into what can only be described as pure rage. He throws things, slams doors, screams, yells, and can NOT calm down. The last time he raged, he cut his lip bad enough to need stitches.

And he does not remember what he did to cut his lip.

That, alone, is terrifying.

I read blogs about the bright and sunny lives that people are living, and I wonder- what demons are they hiding? For me- I hid a marriage that was in trouble, that may still be in trouble. I hid the problems with my son. Did I ever mention that my eleven year was ‘arrested’ (not really- but close) last summer? I don’t think so.

With the number of bloggers out there who are coming out with their dirty laundry- their depression, their failed or about to fail marriages- maybe the ‘blowing sunshine up my own ass’ trend is at an end. Maybe now we’ll see more bloggers acting like real people, addressing real issues, and giving expertise on things that people really need to hear.

I’m done blowing sunshine up my own ass.

 


Painting (Damn, It’s Hard To Type In This Brace)

(If I slip up and stop capitalizing letters, it’s because I’ve given up on trying to reach the shift key while wearing this damn brace. I apologize in advance.)

I bought a set of acrylic paints to use with the boys’ Pinewood Derby cars last week. The next day, I bought some canvas panels to paint, and now I’m all happy because I’m painting. Yay me!

Tonight, I brought out the paints and my work in progress, and began painting. Soon after, Cody got his paints out, his easel, and his canvas and he started painting. Then Evan and Dylan joined in. We had our own little painting party going on in the dining room.

Evan and Dylan, painting on the floor.

Cody painting at the table. Ignore the mess that is my dining room table, I’m in the process of moving things around in there.

I’ve decided that I need a craft space. Since the dining room is already home to my sewing cabinet, and we don’t eat in there except on rare occasions, I’m going to turn it into a crafty space. There’s a desk in the right hand corner just out of the picture that I want to use as my craft ‘station’, which right now would consist of paints, brushes, and canvases. I’ll get before and after pictures once I actually get around to doing it, probably tomorrow. Or Thursday. Hell, I may just wait until this weekend, since I have the whole damn weekend off.

I want something that is easy to change up, as my tastes in crafts change. Some crafts don’t need a station- my knitting and crochet projects fit nicely in my cute purple owl purse, or any of the baskets and totes that I have stationed around the living room. My sewing projects need their own space- which is why i have a sewing cabinet. But things like painting? I want a nice set up to where I can enjoy it.

Right now, I plan on getting a table top easel to use on the desk itself. I want jars to hold brushes, a box to hold my paints, and some way to store blank canvases that won’t damage them. Right now, my blank canvases are chilling in the box that my laptop came in. Handy, but butt ugly.

Maybe I’ll decoupage the box…


Pinewood Derby Time!

The boys’ Cub Scout Pinewood derby was this weekend. And I bought a new camera app to play with, which explains why some of these look like crap (I just have to experiment with different lenses and films and flashes when I get an app like that).


So Much I Want To Do, So Little Time

I joined Pinterest as a place to keep track of everything that I want to try, hoping that it would work a little better than my previous method of ‘bookmark it and forget it until I go to clean out my bookmarks and either go ‘Wow! Gotta try this!’ and keep the bookmark, only to forget about it again or go ‘Holy hell, what was I thinking???’ and delete the bookmark’.

Yeah. Nothing has changed except that now people can see my procrastination quirk.

There are a lot of crafts that I would love to try. I bought a set of acrylic paints, and some brushes, and some canvas this week. I am going to paint something! But there’s also jewelry making- I’m going to buy myself the tools to make purty eye candy for my neck and wrists. Oh, and I’d love to learn how to spin my own yarn.

I have dyed yarn before- and had a ball doing it. My son’s Cub Scout den is going to an alpaca farm next month, and I’m hoping to tag along and check out the yarn offerings. I’m hoping to find some undyed yarn, and- barring that- undyed roving that I can then dye and then learn how to spin into my very own yarn.

Pinterest has caused another little problem. I spend time on their, repinning crap that I may or may not try. Today, I found a pin of a book shelf made out of an old step ladder. I’m already wondering where I can find a vintage wooden step ladder that I can take apart and turn into a bookshelf.

Never mind that I cleaned out my previous book shelf because it’s not needed anymore.

Also- vintage wooden step ladder doesn’t match my current decor of ‘shit my kids haven’t ruined yet’. But hey, they’ll move out eventually.

Pinterest is also a big time waster for me- I should be cleaning my dining room and moving furniture, instead, I’m screwing around on Pinterest looking for anything interesting to try (and discovering that some people have really, really crappy taste).

I wish that I had more free time to try all this stuff, but then it’s probably a blessing in disguise that I don’t have enough time to try this stuff. It keeps me from wasting money on crafts that I frankly suck at. And I’m sure that there’s a few of them.


Playing With Facebook’s Timeline Feature

I’m bored and up with a nasty head cold, so what am I doing?

I’m wasting time on Facebook. I like the new timeline (I know that people hate it- but I like it and don’t care), and one thing that I like about it is that I can relatively easily go back and read all my status updates using my activity log. There are some status messages that I should have explained in more detail…

9/12/2009: you know it’s going to be a long day when the boys argue over Derek Lee before 8am…

But what I am really doing is going back and picking my favorite status updates for 2011. Which I am now going to share with you, my imaginary readers.

1/25/2011: “dylan just asked cody ‘what took you so long, mr fuzzy pants?’ i think that cody now has a new nickname- ‘mr fuzzypants’.”

2/1/2011: “is worried about cody. he wants to see the justin bieber movie.”

2/4/2011: “Cody and Dylan both have nebulas in the back of their throats…”

2/11/2011: “just once i would like a morning where i don’t have to hunt for evan’s shoes.”

which was, oddly enough, followed up by this one:

2/12/2011: “poor evan- woke up sick this morning. :(“

which was then followed by this one:

2/12/2011: “been a scary hour- evan’s fever spiked at 104.5, thank God it came back down with tylenol and a bath. it’s now 103.1.”

I’m no longer going to complain about having to hunt for shoes every morning (mostly because I don’t have to. But still.)

2/28/2011: “Cody says that I can trust him with a $20… Yeah, don’t think so.”

3/1/2011: “evan just asked me for a raise… should i tell him that we don’t give raises to people who dump cups of water on their brother’s head?”

3/5/2011: “i leave the room to answer my phone, and when i come back, cody has tied up evan. not sure that i want to know what happened while i was out of the room…”

3/15/2011: “‎9 years, 2 months, 1 day, 5 hours, and 30 minutes until Dylan turns 18 and can legally move out of the house… i’m going to need a LOT of alcohol”

3/17/2011: “got a job, got a job, got a job!”

3/24/2011: “me: cody, bedtime. cody: i’m at war, there is no bedtime. i almost regret having mike hook the ps3 up again…”

4/11/2011: “The Easter Bunny is going to have to be careful… Evan and Dylan are planning on setting up the PS3 Move camera so that they can ‘catch’ him…”

4/20/2011: “Cody says that you’ve got to use the dazzle dazzle in baseball… I think jazz hands were also mentioned…”

4/26/2011: “Evan apparently did not talk today at school. He saved up all of his words for me- the child has not shut up since he got in the car…”

4/26/2011: “Dylan: Noun.
Evan: Eye.
Dylan: Stop putting eyes! It’s not going to be funny!
Evan: Fine, animal.
Dylan: Too late, I already put eye…
*facepalm*”

5/6/2011: “Evan: It’s been 20 years since I got my casts! Yeah, I think he’s ready to get them off…”

5/8/2011: “Cody: Evan, who is a better brother, me or Dylan?
Evan: Me.
Cody: No, who is a better brother? ME or DYLAN?
Evan: Me.
Cody (finally catching on to what Evan is doing): Evan, who is a better brother, Cody or Dylan?”

5/23/2011: “Evan went to the zoo yesterday. When I asked him this morning how his trip was, he said ‘I saw a rhinoceros poop!’”

5/30/2011: “Cody: You can’t take away technology!
Me: Wanna bet?”

6/6/2011: “

Dylan: (at 9:55) When can I go to Grandma’s?
Me: 11.
Dylan: When’s that?
Me: about an hour.
Dylan: (at 10:00) Has it been an hour yet?
Me: No.
Dylan: (at 10:05) Has it been an hour yet?
Me: No.
Dylan: (at 10:10) Has it been an hour yet?
Me: No.
It’s going to be a long 45 minutes…”
6/7/2011: “i’m sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when dylan starts shooting lego guys at me… not sure what the lego guy did to deserve being shot across the room”
7/22/2011: “Me: Ok, boys, get ready to go.
Cody: Where are we going?
Me: We’re going to walmart to get Avery’s birthday present.
Cody: Aww… do i have to go?
Evan: Why do we have to go?
Dylan: Woohoo! Walmart!”
8/11/2011: “i’m not sure if i should be proud that my 2nd grader kicked my butt at Scrabble Apple or embarrassed…”
10/13/2011: “me: what are you two doing in there?
dyl: we’re fi…. playing with legos! yeah, we’re playing with legos!
as if i don’t know that he was going to say ‘fighting’…”
11/7/2011: “Mom: Don’t you yell at me.
Evan: That’s not a yell, that’s an attitude.”
11/18/2011: “Me, after putting 6 gingerbread man shaped marshmallows into Evan’s hot chocolate: You’re drowning 6 gingerbread men.
Evan: I don’t care, they deserved to die.

sometimes i wonder about this child…”

12/11/2011: “the boys have decided that they like manicotti. they have informed me that i need to make cheese stuffed tubes of pasta again.”

 

 


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.